Recipe for a Good Reading.
This is all about what must happen for a reading to be very satisfying to all. It usually involves the possibility of change or willingness to accept what is. But for today, we will speak about change which is what most people want or initially think they want when they come to a reading.
How does change happen?
How does one lose weight, free oneself of an abusive relationship or make inroads on a career that is difficult to imagine?
These are some of the questions I am faced with in my readings. People want a deeper insight into what is blocking the answering of these questions.
First I have to say that I cannot just give mental answers. A mental or cognitive understanding does not move a thought or feeling forward. When one feels into the heart, one begins the movement.
How does that happen in a reading?
Giving a reading from a reader's perspective is like coming into communion with somebody; it is one of the greatest experiences ever. "When two or more are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them." I suggest before we start that people call upon their higher self or anyone with whom they have a spiritual connection that they rely upon for guidance or inspiration..
When that energy comes into the room and is perhaps aided by the trust given to the reader, the seeker can relax. In that place of relaxation, there is an opening, an opening of the heart. There is also a relaxation of the defenses that one has built up since childhood to cover the pain of a particular situation. When the heart opens, it is usually accompanied by tears. This is why I keep an open box of tissue always available. When one cries, it allows a compassion for oneself to emerge instead of crucifying oneself with recriminations of why you have failed at doing something that is ultimately not helpful to you.
Once I judged myself very harshly for something I did and carried that burden of blame for a number of years. One day while visiting somebody for whom I felt a great deal of trust, I opened up and told them of what had occurred. Because of the openness with which they held my confession, I was able to resonate in a place of objectivity with them and thus see with great clarity what and why I had done this act. In that place of clarity, I felt a true compassion for myself and at last was able to forgive myself. That was a great gift. I have often thought of that time and hoped that sometimes I can give people that same gift when I read for them.
For somebody to open to you, they must trust you with their heart as it were. How do you build that trust? Sometimes it takes a while and a number of readings before that happens. It takes a long time to build a habitual destructive behavior, but it need not take that long to become free of it or at least confide it in somebody. When trust and opening occur simultaneously there arises a freedom that is unimaginable. The freedom is at last giving up a burden or weight that one has carried throughout the years or ages.
One day I was giving a reading to somebody from another country whom I never met and when she came into my doorway, the first thing I said to her was, does anybody know you had that abortion. She was shocked. I have to admit that I too shocked that I just blurted it out without aforethought because that not my usual modus operandi. I usually try to till the ground first before I say thing that may be considered a little difficult. In retrospect, I have also realized that the shock of the deliverance somehow shook the memory and guilt free. More on that later. .
As it turned out, many years ago she had aborted a child very sadly under extreme conditions and told nobody, even her husband. She carried a burden of guilt for many years. Imagine her shock when meeting me in another country and out of the blue, the first thing I say is, did you have an abortion. I quickly told her which is my belief, that I was given the privilege of knowing this intimate detail because her spiritual self wanted her to be free of that guilt she was carrying. While crying, she was able to let go of the pain and guilt. Throughout that whole weekend, she continued to return to thank me for that new freedom she felt. As an aside, she also mentioned that there was a block to accomplishing something in her life, but felt that fear dissolving inside her after our meeting.
Sometimes people are immediately trusting of their readers; others you have to have some time to gain trust where they can reveal themselves more freely. During those times of openness, the defenses one has built up through the years dissolve and the ego can slide back into oblivion for a while and allow the Soul to shine forth with all its dreams and aspirations.
Intellect and rationale do not make people change. It is only the heart that makes for movement within somebody. When the heart is touched, something is released. What is released and revealed is the connection to the Self. It is the Self which has been covered over by old thoughts and ideas that is allowed to finally reveal itself.
The Self has clarity, makes distinctions and promotes change. It is not bound by the strictures of old pain and distrust. It is also the site of Will. Will does not come from shoulds. When the heart and the Self are united, Will emerges as the true vehicle for the soul.
People do not leave an abusive relationship or lose weight because somebody has just told them they should do something. No, it is when they realize their pain and can uncover their own heart. This sometimes happens during a reading or during a shock in one's life that arises from an unexpected death, turbulence in the family or even being fired. When shock happens, it is almost as if somebody's cellular structure gets re-arranged and in acting from that place, can radically change and re-route their lives.
I do not believe in will power. Nobody makes radical changes solely through will power,(although it is certainly an adjunct), because there is an inevitable sliding back when other currents come into the picture, such as old thoughts, appetites, old behavior.
It is also interesting to note that you can count on temptation arising as soon as a resolution is made. It is almost as if something inside you arises to sabotage this change. I think that basically the ego does not want to change and will resist it, especially if it is thought to be a punishment instead of a reward. Many times when people go on diets, their sole source of enjoyment or comfort (i.e. food) is at risk. So long as will is felt as punishment or deprivation, nothing can change.
There is, however, a recipe for deep change: When the soul's wishes become clear and is united with the opening of the heart, then the Will acts as the medium through which change can happen. Will is not the sole instrument of change; it is a vehicle. It is a combination of the heart with the soul that one sustains the movement to change. There is no tightening of the belt, no constriction or forceful discipline of the Self. It is a thrusting forward, of the heart,known as passion, ballasted by the soul and then aided by the will that contributes to change
Carlos Castaneda many years ago said that it is only with the heart that one sees rightly. Nothing happens through the revolutions or machinations of the mind. If one is to change dramatically, one must reveal the wishes of the heart, combine it with the Soul's wishes and utilize the will as their vehicle.
Thus my recipe for a good reading is the same as a good ending. Awareness of the heart and soul's wishes combined with a touch of the Will to manifest a good result. So if you are struggling with your self over something you wish to manifest, ask yourself whether it is truly in keeping with your soul's wishes and the emotions of the heart. That would be a dynamic combination needing only a smidgeon of Will.
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